


Sweet and Tart

by RonniRotten



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Puns, Deceit is a charm snaker, Flirting, Food, M/M, do not copy to other sites
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 03:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22089340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RonniRotten/pseuds/RonniRotten
Summary: Deceit is a flirt, an one attempt at trying to seduce Patton into giving him an extra cookie shows him that the father figure figment is not as innocent as he lets on. It's a challenge Deceit cannot resist, but no one told him feelings would get in the way of his game.
Relationships: Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 20
Kudos: 73





	1. Extra Cookie

Patton was baking again, and the entire mindscape smelled delicious. All the sides were thrilled with the prospect of chocolate chip gooey goodness, except Remus who was interested in the batch of oatmeal raisin cookies Patton made. The only one who was going mad was Deceit. 

Yes Deceit had a sweet tooth, two probably. He baked his own cookies and pastries frequently, but there was always room for Patton's baking. If he could, he would horde the whole batch and never let a soul see the treats ever. But there was one problem—Patton made sure to limit the number of cookies a side could have per day, as if too many would cause an addiction or a wicked tummy ache. He was right but Deceit wanted cookies, and he had a brilliant idea that might win him a few.

He knew he looked good enough to eat. The long, gold, low cut gown that draped over his form matched with the stylish gold leather jacket would make any man swoon. He caused Roman to faint on his way to the kitchen and his target. 

He was grateful that the table was clear and Patton was out of the room. Rather than get caught and scolded for stealing an extra cookie, he climbed onto the table and lounged on it, seductively crossing his legs and propping his torso up on his elbow. There was a slit that showed off just enough leg to make things interesting. Patton would be back any second.

And he was! Patton rose up in a clean shirt after his second baking spree that week. The adorable little cub was just so happy to be back to check on his special white chocolate chunk cookies—his personal stash since everyone had something against white chocolate except for him. And Deceit.

"Well, well, well. It's about time you got back." Deceit hummed from his perch, "I was afraid you'd miss out on the best perfectly golden snack." 

"Oh hey there Deceit! I didn't see you there." Patton giggled and went to put his cookies in a container. Deceit pouted at him.

"How could you miss this—" he motioned to his body with his free hand, "—when it's on display for you?" 

"For me? But you can charm any of the others, you silly snake! They'd gobble you up!" Patton commented as if he didn't realize the attractive man in a gorgeous dress was flirting with him. Deceit and Patton knew better.

"I know, I would rather be savored by a man who knows his way around the kitchen." 

"Well I can sure give you the attention, Sugar!" Patton giggled, making the human half of Deceit's face turn pink. 

"Peppering puns into the conversation, hm?" Deceit hummed softly and shifted to fully stretch out, "I didn't realize you wanted to spice up this chat." 

"Can you blame me? I'm talking to a sly serpent who's worth his weight in gold!" Patton chuckled, "I'm a red-blooded man with taste and restraint.." 

"Do you want a taste?" Deceit purred, trying desperately to maintain his composure.

"Mama always told me not to touch something hot." Patton giggled and waved him off.

"And here I am burning up for you." 

"Aw, but you're playing it so cool! You'd give Princey a run for his money with that kind of charm!" 

"But as you can see, he fainted at the sight of me, besides I want to charm you." Deceit said, dramatically bringing a hand to his chest.

"You don't have to! You're already the apple of my pie, you little charm snaker!" 

"Then why not indulge yourself and take a bite? I wouldn't mind such a thoughtful, handsome side devouring me." Deceit cooed and layed down completely, stretching out on his back with one leg up and bent at the knee so it could escape the confines of the dress. No one could ignore the swirl of scales that graced down to his calf. Despite his demeanor not changing, Patton went red. Deceit took note of that.

"You're so sweet! But I don't want to spoil my dinner!" Patton said, distracting himself by putting the empty cooling rack in the sink.

"No? I'm willing to spoil mine, you are a full meal." Deceit purred and sat up, tired of laying down. 

"Now Dee, I might be packing some extra cushion but even I know you don't spoil dinner with desert." Patton laughed, "but I think just this once I'll let it slide." He picked up the biggest cookie and offered it to Deceit.

"You don't have to try and seduce me for a cookie, you know!" Patton said with a smirk. If the human side of Deceit's face could get any redder he might just pass out. 

"How—?" he gawked, holding the cookie as if it were an ancient treasure.

"I'm a dad! I pay attention, and I know you love cookies and white chocolate. If you asked I would gladly share! Papa doesn't need a whole batch to himself!" 

"No, no. How are you immune to my charms?" 

"I'm the heart, silly! I'm not immune but I sure learned to resist temptation from a cutie pie, like you!" he giggled and winked. Deceit stood and grinned darkly.

"Thank you for the cookie, Patton. And thank you more so for the challenge. You'll see me again soon." 

"I can't wait!" Patton cheered and waved as Deceit sunk out with a bow. When he was gone, Patton covered his face with his hands and groaned, no longer needing to hide how flustered he was. Did he really just invite Deceit to fluster him more?


	2. Debatable

Patton was alone in the common area, reading  _ Summa Contra Gentiles _ by Thomas Aquinas, debating on whether or not Logan would find it interesting. He could use some good reading material. A lot of the books on matters of emotion and moral philosophy were gifts from Patton, not that anyone knew. It was his best secret.

"My, my, my, what have we here?" Deceit cooed when he appeared next to Patton on the couch. 

"Oh hi Deceit!" Patton said as he shut the book and shoved it between his legs to hide it, "I didn't see you there!"

"No? That must be quite the riveting novel." Deceit hummed and crossed his legs, "What are you reading?" 

"Me? Just a silly romance novel. It's a little bit on the saucy side." Patton lied. Deceit narrowed his eyes and frowned at him. 

"You know I know you're lying through your winning smile." Deceit cooed, "Why so shy about that beautiful brain of yours?" 

"Beautiful brain? I mean Logan is a handsome guy, but I'm not shy about him!" Patton giggled, deflecting the compliment like a champ.

"My point stands," Deceit sighed and slowly reached for the book, holding eye contact with Patton, "why so shy about your intelligence?" 

"Did you just stop by to tell me I'm smart?" Patton questioned, his face a lovely shade of scarlet. He couldn't stop staring into those mismatched eyes, so beautiful, so hypnotic. 

"No," Deceit hummed and snatched the book away, "I stopped by to discuss this text with you." He held it up and waved it for Patton to see. Patton averted his gaze and Deceit examined the pages with interest.

"I must say you take excellent care of your books," he mused, "a gentle touch with something so valuable, like a lover afraid of damaging something delicate." 

"A lover?" Patton questioned in earnest. 

"It's an expression darling, one that gets to the  _ heart _ of the matter." 

"Was that a pun?" Patton questioned with a slight grin. Deceit smirked and shrugged,

"Naturally, as a part of Thomas, puns are in my  _ blood _ ." 

"You sly serpent!" Patton giggled, "You  _ beat  _ me to it!" 

"So I did. But we're getting off track, I want to know your thoughts on this text." 

"Why? I would think that you already have some strong opinions on it already." Patton questioned and tilted his head like a curious puppy. Deceit had to keep his wits about him lest he fall prey to that charm yet again.

"Oh I do, but a friendly discussion on such a topic is rather refreshing. And the only other side capable of picking apart philosophy doesn't have the capacity to examine the ideas without bringing up the flaws in the philosopher's life, as if they were never conscious of their own flaws and biases, and the way society influenced their actions and lesser thought." 

"Huh, but can you really separate the work from the creator?" Patton pouted. 

"In terms of philosophy, there are certain aspects that can be taken without source concern and thought upon beyond the writings. The idea of angels and the human soul in Aquinas' thoughts are intriguing, but he was sexist and antisemitic. Very problematic, don't you think?" 

"No one is perfect, and he was alive in the 13th century, that stuff wasn't right but it was common. The man  _ is _ a saint." 

"Exactly. This is why I thought you would be a better partner. You and I aren't so different." Deceit hummed and smiled wolfishly at Patton, who in turn blushed. The implications!

"Partner? If I didn't know better I'd say you were trying to trick me into something, you sly serpent." he giggled shyly. Playing up the cute factor usually worked to disarm the others, not this time.

"I don't have any knowledge that you don't, and I have no fruit to offer." Deceit chuckled. Patton hated how musical that laugh could be. Time to change tactics.

"A sophisticated and handsome devil like you would have a  _ better _ offer for me to resist." Patton hummed and plucked the hat right off of Deceit's head to place on his own. Deceit squeaked and glared at Patton, only for his heart to skip a beat. There was no way Patton could look so good in his hat! 

"If we aren't so different," Patton said with a tip of the hat that had Deceit swooning internally, "then you can think of a good temptation that'll make me fall from grace." He licked his lips and winked with an impish grin. Deceit shook his head, letting his curls bounce slightly. It was Patton's turn to swoon at how cute this side was in a more casual setting.

"My dear, I could easily tempt you with a taste of my chapstick, but I don't think it would be enough." Deceit responded coolly, "You have such a strong will among—other things." He made a show of drinking in the hot dad-bod next to him.

"You're headed into dangerous territory." Patton warned and took off the hat. Deceit smiled and placed it back on the head where it belonged. 

"If it's too dangerous, then perhaps you ought to banish this snake, St. Patton. Otherwise I'm all yours." 

"Talk Aquinas to me Mr Devil's Advocate." 


End file.
